End of an Era

I've been done having children for about 7 years now. I've got three kids, love them, but they are more than enough for me. The past 11 years for me has been being a mom. The moment I held Faith there was nothing else I wanted to do. But now there is going to be a change that officially ends this having baby chapter of my life.

This Friday I am going to have a hysterectomy. I'm officially going to be done having babies, there is no changing my mind on this. It's not like I wanted babies, but knowing I can't changes my mindset.
I can't describe it, but I feel like I being forced to finish having babies. However, I know that there is only two ways to go. I can be sad knowing that I am no longer fertile, that I am missing a piece of me. Or I can except it and focus on the next chapter of my life.

I don't know what that chapter has in store. I am sad, but I have to keep my mind off of that. I am determined to move forward. This is a new era for me. Yes, I am still a mother to those three great kids of mine, but I can't think I am less because I am less a body part. I gotta think I am more because I have checked that box, crossed it off the bucket list, and, best of all, I survived three babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

I will focus more on developing me as me. The problem I face now is figuring who the heck I want to be. I have great support from the four most amazing people I know (Jim and the kids), I have great friends who don't care if I have a uterus or not, and I got time...heck I'm going to be sore and recovering, right.

So, am I nervous about starting a new era? Nah, not anymore. I'm anxious to find out what the new era has in store.

But I am extremely nervous about the needles, surgery, and pain...I'm a wimp, I won't lie. Doctors tell me I have a high pain tolerance, but it doesn't mean I like it...especially there.