Crossisms, Tales of the Funniest Kid I Know

Cross James Van Wicklin

AKA "Cross the Boss", "Crossy the Snow Man"

My 6 year old, Cross, is the funniest kid I know. He has the best way of looking at the world around him, and the majority of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is just hilarious. He is all boy, and he drives me insane, but the stuff he does and the things he does keeps me laughing. He is definitely my comic relief in life.



So for my enjoyment and for your's, here are some of the things I can remember:

When cross first learned to walk, whenever he would walk past a "Slippery When Wet" floor sigh, he would always kick it down. People at our regular places began to expect it when they saw him coming.

Cross used to call chihuahuas "chick-a-wa-wa" 

He called Western Kentucky's Hilltoppers "Mountain climbers"

Favorite ride at Busch Gardens

Cross put a quarter in the puppy's ear the other day and said, "wanna see a magic trick?"

One time at Busch Gardens he reached through the fence and put a kangaroo in a headlock. When I saw him I said "cross! let go of that poor kangaroo!" He replied, "Mom, I just wanted to give it a hug."

Walking with mall santa

He has always talked or sang when he uses the bathroom. One time I walked by and heard him calling his penis "Agent P", and he talked to Agent P the whole time he pooped.

Cross told me he had to break apart my chopsticks since he's the man.

He calls the gym L.A. Fitness "Elephantness"

He used to tell us that we were "furry" if we needed to shave. 

One time Cross lifted up his shirt and shows me his belly and says "look how many packs I have now! I think I have 5 packs now"

He used to always tell us that he loved daddy "all the way up to God" and he loved mommy "all the way up to Jesus."

His term for diarrhea: "hiney pee"

Christian said," I hate playing with cross! He cheats!!" And Cross replied "Well I'm sorry, but I just really like winning."


One time while watching soccer he said, "It's called sock-er cuz you wear long socks"


Faith said something was cross-eyed. Cross got really mad and yelled, "My eyes do not look like that! It's not my eyes!"

He told me once that the plural of toothbrush is "teethbrushes."

Cross has always called French Fries "french-A-fries"

One time while I was eating a hamburger with him, he started to pick the sesame seeds off of my burger bun. When I asked him why he was doing that, he said, "I want to put them in the dirt to grow a cheeseburger tree so we can have all the cheeseburgers we want."

Cross said, "Mom I wish I was all grown up so I could marry you" I of course said,
"You can't marry your mom." Cross replied, "Why? I'm handsomer, funnier, and nicer than dad."


Today he told me if there was an alligator that he would beat it up for me because he is a real man.


He got really upset one day when I was driving. When I asked him what was wrong, he replied, "Why does the sun always have to follow ME around...Why doesn't it follow Christian!"

I wish I remembered them all, but I guess I can add more later. If you have ever met him, you know he can be both a pain and a riot. If you don't know him, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I do.

He said he didn't pull the "tricker" bc I'm too pretty

He can be sweet too

Daddy's boy

he climbed in...I promise

Cutest martial-artist

My little fighter

Wearing my glasses

Free Pineapples and Gardening

Back in April I decided that I wanted to see if I could actually grow pineapple plants from just the tops of pineapples. It worked! Look at them now, they have grown so much:

All I did was cut the green tops off of the pineapple, put it in a bowl with water for a day or two, and then plant it in the ground. The only reason I put them in a bowl of water for a day or two was that gave me time to actually find a place to plant them and then find the time to dig them into the ground. I only soaked the bottom of the top (where the green meets the yellow).

When I found a nice sunny spot for them, I just put the bottom part of the green top straight into the ground. I didn't even bother with special soil, just good ole Tampa sand dirt clay whatever. I didn't fertilize and only watered if it didn't rain in a week or so.    SO COOL!

I love to garden! I love digging in the dirt, planning out where to dig, and growing stuff. It's both relaxing and rewarding for me. I've tried several times to grow fruits and vegetables, but I do not have any luck with that, but I do really well with plants and trees. I did a ton of gardening in the spring. I planted several fruit trees, tropical plants, and flowers.

My garden before I planted

Also, this year I dug a vegetable garden on the side of my house, the only thing I could grow were weeds. The strawberries, cucumbers, and melons grew but never fruited. The carrots and radishes started to grow, but never matured. The rest of the plants just died. 

Cross with his plant

Cross, however, picked out a banana pepper plant to grow in my garden. The only edible vegetable we got this year was banana peppers. Not that we got to eat those, as soon as Cross picked them he washed them and ate them immediately. Banana peppers are his favorite.

Anyway, I miss gardening. I was able to do a bunch this past spring, but now my back is hurting too much. I can't bend, lift, dig, or carry bags of mulch or dirt. It's yet another hobby of mine that I need to replace because of this stupid injury.

Speaking of injury, today I woke up in a little less pain and was able to swim laps comfortably. YEAH!

Today's Workout:

5 minutes freestyle (have to do by time because I lose count)
50 meters free pull
50 meters free kick
5 minutes breaststroke
50 meters breast pull
50 meters breast kick
50 meters backstroke (I really hate backstroke, that's why I only do 50s)
50 meters dolphin kick
and repeat until I got kicked out of my lane for campers.

Stairs and Baking

Okay, so being to drugged up to drive seems to be a problem when you need to get to the store for supplies for crafts. However, I finally got to the store today, and I have my first repurposing project planned!

In the meantime I was up for trying a different new hobby. One of the few suggestions I got for a new hobby was cooking. So I decided to try baking something new today. I got a recipe for S'mores chocolate chip cookies. S'mores are one of my very favorite foods, so I was actually excited about making these.

Unfortunately, I was not thinking straight when I thought baking/cooking would be an activity that keeps my mind off of my back injury. Turns out baking hurts more than the Elliptical machine! All the standing for mixing and getting ingredients and cleaning up afterwards really hurts. 

Then the bending! Oh, the bending was the worse. I had to bend to get bowls and mixer, I had to bend to get baking sheets out, and I had to bend to put cookies in the oven and take them out. By the time I was done I could not stand up straight! But I got some really yummy cookies:

I guess it's a good thing I got in a workout this morning because this could be bad!

Today's workout:

When I got out of bed this morning I felt better than I have since I had my injections two weeks ago. So when I went to the gym this morning I decided to try something different. I am not new to the stairmill, but I have been scared to do it since I've been hurting so bad. Plus, it's hard to actually get on the stairmill because my gym only has one that works.

Anyway, I did the stairmill and it actually didn't bother me anymore than the elliptical. My back seemed more irritated, thought, because I had to stand for more than 10 minutes. I only lasted 20 minutes because of the pain from standing. 

I also did some really low impact leg strengthening moves, and I did about 40 crunches. I skipped push-ups today because...well, I hate push-ups

By the time I workout, went to the store for food and craft supplies, and baked those cookies my back no longer feels better. I'm probably at a 9.5 on that nifty 1-10 scale they ask at the doctor's.

Floating

Today's workout:

20 minutes on the recumbent bike, which hurt really bad. Every time I pushed with my left leg I felt like screaming.

After my workout I came home and stayed in my pool for 2 hours. Floating with my chest on float and legs dangling in the water seems to be the only comfortable position for me. Water is awesome! In my dreams my house has a mote, which is really just a lazy river. I could float around forever.

When I finally got out of the pool I started to take inventory for my new hobby. I've made a list for the supplies I want to by for my first couple attempts to repurpose some containers. I hope to make it to the store tomorrow. I have some really awesome ideas pinned on my Pinterest board. I swear I'm addicted to that site.

I also think I may have found another way to keep my mind busy as well. I want to try to learn how to do more on my computer such as WordPress and Photoshop. Any ideas of things to learn to do on the computer?

Repurposing

Today I took the kids to McDonald's (I know, but Faith got 3 shots so I felt like she deserved it), and as they were throwing away their milk containers I had an epiphany.

Okay, so maybe epiphany is a little dramatic, but I realized that my household wastes A LOT of containers, boxes, cups...

I got to thinking I should be more purposeful in the reuse of these things. Yes, I know, I could recycle, but come on! Have you been on Pinterest? Have you seen all the cool things you can do with "trash". And what's great about it is that it is trash. So if my lack of artistic ability messes it up, it is no big deal!

I think recycling is great for Earth. I think our culture is very wasteful and we are careless about the environment. I want to take it a step further, though. I want to find ways to turn these objects in useful items around the house. That way I am not only saving the environment, but I am saving money and reducing my carbon footprint. Plus, it can be a hobby, which keeps me busy and not laying around feeling sorry for myself.

Pretty cool! Now on to find a place to store all these containers I want to reuse :-P

Oh, by the way....Today's Workout (had to do something, I had McD's for lunch):

20 very painful and boring minutes on the Elliptical.
400 Crunches
50 Push-ups
Followed by ingesting 6 different pain pills

Swim and Aquakwondo

I woke up this morning in pain, but the pain was tolerable enough to not take the drugs that make me loopy. Therefore, I was able to drive to the YMCA to workout. Yes, I know, but working out is my drug of choice. If I don't workout I am cranky and my life seems miserable. But because walking is still difficult because of my back, I decided on a pool workout. Swimming, so far, is the lesser of all the exercise induced pain.

I love being outside, I love water, and I love sunshine, so you would think that swimming would be perfect for me. The problem I have with swimming is that I get bored really easy. Looking at the bottom of the pool for an hour drives me crazy, so I have to mix up my swimming workouts every time I go to the pool.

Today's pool workout:

20 roundhouses, 20 sidekicks in the pool
Freestyle pull with buoy 100meters
Freestyle kick with board 50 meters
Dolphin kick with board 50 meters
Breaststroke 5 minutes (I lose count after 100meters)
Backstroke 50 meters
And repeat for one hour

By the end of the hour I had all I could take, so I made my way home and popped some pain pills. Even though I am in pain, I am better off now that I have had some exercise for the day.

Now What?

So my back is back to where it was prior to my surgery in September of 2010. I just had more injections, which did nothing but make me feel worse. I'm constantly in pain and I am depressed because I can't do the things I love...like Taekwondo and weightlifting.

my spine post surgery

I've been playing volleyball for the past 6 months. I am not very good, but at least it keeps me busy and is physical. Volleyball was never easy on my back, but the pain was tolerable, until last night. Last night the left side of my lower back locked up. I had a hard time walking off the court and out of the gym. I'm feeling better today, but now I'm contemplating my life.

As I mentioned, I love to be active and prefer to be physically active. But that doesn't seem to be an option anymore. Because of the pain medicine that makes me loopy, and my inability to stand or sit for long periods of time, I am unable to work.  Instead of being active and/or working, I am laying around bored, depressed, and in pain.

So now I am on a mission. I need to change this! I am looking for new hobbies. Hobbies that do not irritate my back. I want to find something that keeps my mind busy and off the pain and the loss of my beloved Taekwondo and gym.

My plan is to try all sorts of new activities...I'm searching the web for ideas, looking on Pinterest, and asking friends for ideas to try. I am going to keep trying new things until I find something I love.

If you have any ideas, please comment here. I know I've not been on my Blog in awhile, but I will be Blogging now.