I Must Be a Genius

I was getting really annoyed with people in the past. I referred to some people as stupid idiots, morons, dumb, and other similar things. But I got to thinking, maybe the problem isn't with other people. I mean, there can't be THAT many stupid people, can there? Maybe the problem is with me. Perhaps I am such a genius and shouldn't expect other people to be a genius. Here is why I must be a genius:

1) I'm one of the few people in the United States that can figure out that the left lanes on highways are for passing. They are not supposed to be for people to leisurely drive the speed limits on. They are not for the slow nervous driver, or for people to drive side by side with the people in the right lane. I guess maybe this is hard to comprehend if you are not a genius, right?

2) I think it must be hard for people who are not geniuses to remember to flush the toilets in public restrooms. It seems that this happens a lot, so I guess it must be me that is smart enough to remember to do it, and not other people being too stupid to remember.

3) I don't know if this is pure genius or incredible endurance on my part, but I seem to be the only person in my household that can get trash in the trash can, dirty dishes in the sink, and dirty clothes on the laundry basket. Maybe its just hard to find the trash cans, sinks, and hampers. Sometimes the dishes end up on the counter right next to the sink, and the same for dirty clothes right next to the hamper. So maybe others just don't have the endurance to make it ALL the way to the hamper and sink.

4) Another reason I am a genius is because I am the only person at my house that can actually put a roll of toilet paper onto the toilet paper dispenser. It's an amazingly complicated process, and I'm glad one of us in the house can figure this out.

5) At the gym, I am one of the few people that can actually remember where I got my equipment from after I use it. It must take a lot of brain power to get equipment, use it, and then remember where that equipment came from. I know that dumbbells and plates are supposed to go back on racks, and I know that the cable attachments did not come with me in my gym bag.

6) Counting must be something the smarter few of us can do, especially at the grocery store. The ten items or less checkout line is very complicated. I mean counting to ten and deciding if you have more or less is hard. I mean, 30 items can be hard to decipher from 10...right?

7) Chewing gum and walking is difficult, I admit, but chewing and keeping your mouth shut must be even harder. I am one of a handful that can eat popcorn and candy at a movie theater without chewing with my mouth open disturbing those around me. I can EVEN chew gum and not pop it when there are people near me. Yes, I know...GENIUS!

What do you think, am I a genius? Maybe you are too!