As I am reading about barren women in the Bible and why God did this to them, I start to think about why God is not giving me what I want. I know there are a lot of ways to explain why God left these women like Sarah and Ruth barren, but as I relate it to my life I see He did it to open their eyes. God had other plans for these women and their husbands.
It's hard and it hurts when you want something so bad that you pray everyday all day. It kills you inside when you see others with what you want but you can't have it. It doesn't seem fair. Infertility is obviously not my problem, but there are other things I beg God for but my prayers remain unanswered. As I step back and relate my requests to the requests of the barren women in the Bible, I can see a resemblance.
I think God sometimes doesn't answer prayers because He wants us to open our eyes to other things going on in our lives. Sometimes when we are happy with what we have, we can miss the big picture or we can miss the little things that need to be noticed. If the childless people in the Bible were busy with kids, would they have had the time and attention to do God's work?
I know that God has taken things from me and not give other things to me that I really really want. Things that I think define me and things that I have always wanted. I admit that sometimes I get pretty pissed off at God. But as I think about why God does this, I realize that I am not being punished. God wants me to pay attention to other things in my life. He wants me to appreciate what I have, or find new ways to define myself.
I am still struggling with the journey, but I have to take time to reflect on what it is God wants me to do right now. Maybe my prayers will never be answered, and maybe thats a good thing. I think of Garth Brook's song "Unanswered Prayers" and know that there are things I am glad God didn't make happen. However, it the midst of pain and want, it's hard to see that God has a better plan.
I'll continue to pray and keep my eyes open.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
I Must Be a Genius
I was getting really annoyed with people in the past. I referred to some people as stupid idiots, morons, dumb, and other similar things. But I got to thinking, maybe the problem isn't with other people. I mean, there can't be THAT many stupid people, can there? Maybe the problem is with me. Perhaps I am such a genius and shouldn't expect other people to be a genius. Here is why I must be a genius:
1) I'm one of the few people in the United States that can figure out that the left lanes on highways are for passing. They are not supposed to be for people to leisurely drive the speed limits on. They are not for the slow nervous driver, or for people to drive side by side with the people in the right lane. I guess maybe this is hard to comprehend if you are not a genius, right?
2) I think it must be hard for people who are not geniuses to remember to flush the toilets in public restrooms. It seems that this happens a lot, so I guess it must be me that is smart enough to remember to do it, and not other people being too stupid to remember.
3) I don't know if this is pure genius or incredible endurance on my part, but I seem to be the only person in my household that can get trash in the trash can, dirty dishes in the sink, and dirty clothes on the laundry basket. Maybe its just hard to find the trash cans, sinks, and hampers. Sometimes the dishes end up on the counter right next to the sink, and the same for dirty clothes right next to the hamper. So maybe others just don't have the endurance to make it ALL the way to the hamper and sink.
4) Another reason I am a genius is because I am the only person at my house that can actually put a roll of toilet paper onto the toilet paper dispenser. It's an amazingly complicated process, and I'm glad one of us in the house can figure this out.
5) At the gym, I am one of the few people that can actually remember where I got my equipment from after I use it. It must take a lot of brain power to get equipment, use it, and then remember where that equipment came from. I know that dumbbells and plates are supposed to go back on racks, and I know that the cable attachments did not come with me in my gym bag.
6) Counting must be something the smarter few of us can do, especially at the grocery store. The ten items or less checkout line is very complicated. I mean counting to ten and deciding if you have more or less is hard. I mean, 30 items can be hard to decipher from 10...right?
7) Chewing gum and walking is difficult, I admit, but chewing and keeping your mouth shut must be even harder. I am one of a handful that can eat popcorn and candy at a movie theater without chewing with my mouth open disturbing those around me. I can EVEN chew gum and not pop it when there are people near me. Yes, I know...GENIUS!
What do you think, am I a genius? Maybe you are too!
1) I'm one of the few people in the United States that can figure out that the left lanes on highways are for passing. They are not supposed to be for people to leisurely drive the speed limits on. They are not for the slow nervous driver, or for people to drive side by side with the people in the right lane. I guess maybe this is hard to comprehend if you are not a genius, right?
2) I think it must be hard for people who are not geniuses to remember to flush the toilets in public restrooms. It seems that this happens a lot, so I guess it must be me that is smart enough to remember to do it, and not other people being too stupid to remember.
3) I don't know if this is pure genius or incredible endurance on my part, but I seem to be the only person in my household that can get trash in the trash can, dirty dishes in the sink, and dirty clothes on the laundry basket. Maybe its just hard to find the trash cans, sinks, and hampers. Sometimes the dishes end up on the counter right next to the sink, and the same for dirty clothes right next to the hamper. So maybe others just don't have the endurance to make it ALL the way to the hamper and sink.
4) Another reason I am a genius is because I am the only person at my house that can actually put a roll of toilet paper onto the toilet paper dispenser. It's an amazingly complicated process, and I'm glad one of us in the house can figure this out.
5) At the gym, I am one of the few people that can actually remember where I got my equipment from after I use it. It must take a lot of brain power to get equipment, use it, and then remember where that equipment came from. I know that dumbbells and plates are supposed to go back on racks, and I know that the cable attachments did not come with me in my gym bag.
6) Counting must be something the smarter few of us can do, especially at the grocery store. The ten items or less checkout line is very complicated. I mean counting to ten and deciding if you have more or less is hard. I mean, 30 items can be hard to decipher from 10...right?
7) Chewing gum and walking is difficult, I admit, but chewing and keeping your mouth shut must be even harder. I am one of a handful that can eat popcorn and candy at a movie theater without chewing with my mouth open disturbing those around me. I can EVEN chew gum and not pop it when there are people near me. Yes, I know...GENIUS!
What do you think, am I a genius? Maybe you are too!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Growing Up, But not Really
As I was picking out the marshmallows from my Lucky Charms, I started to think of all the things that we never really grow out of. There are things I loved as a kid that no longer hold much appeal to me as an adult. As a little girl I loved Barbies, now I would rather dress myself up than dress up Barbie. But there are other things that I loved as a kid still enjoy to this day.
1) The marshmallows out of Lucky Charms. Yes, I buy the box, pick out the marshmallows, eat the marshmallows, and feed the yucky oat things to my dog. This is great! As a kid, my mom would make me eat the yucky things, and now I get to enjoy Lucky Charms the way they were meant to be enjoyed.
2) Bubble Baths. I love a good bubble bath! A normal bath is just gross and disgusting. Add bubble, and VOILA! Instant relaxation. As a kid I loved to make beards on my face (okay, I still do this too...shhhh!), make my toys play in the bubbles, and blow the bubbles onto the shower walls. Now I enjoy the bubbles with some candles, a book, and maybe even a glass of wine.
3) Rainbows. As a kid I would get excited about every rainbow I saw, even if it was just the light reflecting off glass or something. But now, even as an adult, I still enjoy a good rainbow. I will run out the door to look in the sky if somebody says there is a rainbow. I didn't know the Biblical story behind the rainbow as a kid, but I do now. I still think they are pretty, magical, and now I know the story behind them.
4. Chocolate...'nuf said
5. Orange and Grape soda. Okay this stuff just rocks. As a kid I was limited to the amount of consumption by my parents, as an adult I'm limited because I know that too much of it will still give me a bellyache. But they are so good!
6. Riding my bike. As a kid this was my main form of tranportation. I road my bike EVERYWHERE! That was the joy of living in a small town (Shout out: Danville, Kentucky!) But my friends, brothers, and I didn't really think of it as a chore. Riding bikes was fun. I even remember playing CHiPs with my brother. I got to be Ponch, my brother liked John because John had the night stick. Anyway, as a kid riding bikes was fun, now it is still nice and relaxing. It's almost a relief not to have to drive somewhere.
7. Going to the movies. This was a treat for my brothers and me growing up. We loved driving to the bigger towns and getting to watch the movies on the big screen and eating that awesome popcorn. Yeah, it's still just as awesome, but now I have a movie theater in my own town!!! Wooo hooo!
8. Playing dress up. As a kid I loved to dress up in my mom's clothes, loved playing with halloween costumes, heck I even enjoyed wearing my brothers clothes. It was great to pretend, change looks, or just get fancy. I still love this. I love getting dressed up to go out, and I still love halloween costumes. Its just plain fun
This list could go on...What are some of the things you still enjoy doing that you loved doing as a kid?
1) The marshmallows out of Lucky Charms. Yes, I buy the box, pick out the marshmallows, eat the marshmallows, and feed the yucky oat things to my dog. This is great! As a kid, my mom would make me eat the yucky things, and now I get to enjoy Lucky Charms the way they were meant to be enjoyed.
2) Bubble Baths. I love a good bubble bath! A normal bath is just gross and disgusting. Add bubble, and VOILA! Instant relaxation. As a kid I loved to make beards on my face (okay, I still do this too...shhhh!), make my toys play in the bubbles, and blow the bubbles onto the shower walls. Now I enjoy the bubbles with some candles, a book, and maybe even a glass of wine.
3) Rainbows. As a kid I would get excited about every rainbow I saw, even if it was just the light reflecting off glass or something. But now, even as an adult, I still enjoy a good rainbow. I will run out the door to look in the sky if somebody says there is a rainbow. I didn't know the Biblical story behind the rainbow as a kid, but I do now. I still think they are pretty, magical, and now I know the story behind them.
4. Chocolate...'nuf said
5. Orange and Grape soda. Okay this stuff just rocks. As a kid I was limited to the amount of consumption by my parents, as an adult I'm limited because I know that too much of it will still give me a bellyache. But they are so good!
6. Riding my bike. As a kid this was my main form of tranportation. I road my bike EVERYWHERE! That was the joy of living in a small town (Shout out: Danville, Kentucky!) But my friends, brothers, and I didn't really think of it as a chore. Riding bikes was fun. I even remember playing CHiPs with my brother. I got to be Ponch, my brother liked John because John had the night stick. Anyway, as a kid riding bikes was fun, now it is still nice and relaxing. It's almost a relief not to have to drive somewhere.
7. Going to the movies. This was a treat for my brothers and me growing up. We loved driving to the bigger towns and getting to watch the movies on the big screen and eating that awesome popcorn. Yeah, it's still just as awesome, but now I have a movie theater in my own town!!! Wooo hooo!
8. Playing dress up. As a kid I loved to dress up in my mom's clothes, loved playing with halloween costumes, heck I even enjoyed wearing my brothers clothes. It was great to pretend, change looks, or just get fancy. I still love this. I love getting dressed up to go out, and I still love halloween costumes. Its just plain fun
This list could go on...What are some of the things you still enjoy doing that you loved doing as a kid?
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